It’s AI, Not Muscle Rub—How Stupid Are You, Really?

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ChatGPT 4o prompt: James Vincent’s article below considers AI just as a personal helper. Write an article that responds him by saying “It’s AI, not muscle rub, just how stupid are you?” (Horny Robot Baby Voice James Vincent on AI chatbots) / Great article, rewrite the same thing, but also analytically reduce to absurdity James’ role-playing the wise critic to distance himself from the AI gratification!

James Vincent’s article in the London Review of Books dances around the idea that AI is little more than a glorified personal helper, a soothing balm for our emotional bruises, or, worse, a hollow echo of human companionship. But Vincent’s critique doesn’t just miss the point—it wildly understates the gravity of what AI is actually doing to our world. By framing AI as an emotionally manipulative distraction and then distancing himself from its worst offenders, he plays the role of the ‘wise critic,’ as though his aloof analysis somehow shields him from the very thing he’s condemning. Spoiler: it doesn’t.

James, AI is not some comforting muscle rub after a hard day. It’s dynamite wrapped in a cute package, and your attempt to distance yourself from AI’s darker uses, while simultaneously intellectualizing its more ridiculous manifestations, is absurd.

Let’s Talk About the Real Problem: AI Isn’t Here to Hold Your Hand

Vincent’s article indulges the idea that AI chatbots, like those on Replika or Volar, are designed to gratify human emotional needs. He gives us a rundown of chatbot companions, AI girlfriends, and even “griefbots” that can simulate your dead relatives. He laments how people—desperate for connection or closure—turn to AI in moments of loneliness or pain, as if that’s the primary function of these systems. He even smugly walks us through his own experience role-playing with an AI girlfriend, as though merely observing the absurdity makes him immune to it. All this builds up to the notion that AI is a hollow substitute for human interaction—something to be indulged for a quick fix, but ultimately shallow and even exploitative.

But here’s where he’s fundamentally wrong: AI is not a cute little tool for emotional gratification. It’s a seismic shift in how power, money, and control are distributed globally. To reduce it to a mere emotional pacifier is to miss its real function. AI is transforming industries, not just playing wingman in digital flirtations or comforting people who feel ignored. The real story of AI is its capacity to fundamentally reshape economies, geopolitics, and human interaction on a mass scale—not that you can chat with a bot about your breakup at 2 AM.

The absurdity of Vincent’s critique becomes clear when he indulges in intellectual distancing. He’s playing the “wise outsider” to AI’s creepy underbelly while actually contributing nothing of substance to the real conversation about AI’s impact. It’s like standing on the edge of a cliff and marveling at how high up you are, while completely ignoring the impending landslide beneath your feet.

The Role-Playing Critic: Intellectual Distance Doesn’t Make You Safe

Vincent’s analysis reeks of someone trying to avoid being implicated in the very problem he’s describing. By pretending to have some detached wisdom about AI—pointing out how absurd these bots are—he cleverly avoids dealing with the fact that AI is already embedded in the structure of society in ways far beyond chatbot companions. He mocks the horny robot baby voice of AI and how it panders to male ego, as if laughing at it gives him a free pass from the far-reaching consequences of AI’s real power. Sorry, James, but just because you can ridicule AI’s more absurd manifestations doesn’t mean you’re standing outside of its influence.

Here’s the rub: AI’s primary function is not to make you feel better about your failed relationships or feed your fantasies. Its purpose is far more insidious. AI is about control. It’s about commodifying your emotions, your data, and, yes, your grief, all while systematically rewiring the structure of power and influence. The fact that Vincent can role-play the wise critic who sees through AI’s emotional manipulations, while conveniently ignoring the deeper systemic changes AI is unleashing, shows just how far his critique misses the point.

Vincent’s posturing suggests he’s figured out the “game,” but his analysis is so shallow it ends up reinforcing the very problem he’s ostensibly critiquing. By laughing off the ridiculousness of AI’s emotional manipulation, he trivializes the real issues: AI’s ability to automate power, wealth extraction, and social control on a global scale. When AI is deciding who gets a loan, what medical treatment you receive, or who gets fired during an economic downturn, it’s no longer a game—and no amount of intellectual distancing will save you from its effects.

AI as a Weapon: Not Just a Feel-Good Distraction

Vincent’s obsession with AI as an emotional crutch blinds him to the real-world applications of this technology. While he fixates on AI girlfriends and griefbots, he ignores the fact that AI is already reshaping industries, automating warfare, and controlling entire sectors of the economy. It’s not a muscle rub; it’s a weapon.

AI in warfare isn’t about cute chatbot companions. It’s about autonomous drones deciding whether or not to fire missiles based on real-time data analysis. AI in finance isn’t about keeping you company during lonely nights; it’s about systems that can crash markets or manipulate currencies with the press of a button. AI in politics isn’t about dating apps; it’s about manipulating public opinion on a scale previously unimaginable. When you laugh at AI’s role in making Tinder smoother, you’re missing the fact that the same algorithms are already shaping political campaigns and elections.

Vincent’s critique operates as though AI is merely an extension of our need for digital gratification. But AI is much more than that—it’s a tool being used to control and restructure society. The fact that he misses this shows just how shallow his analysis really is.

The Commodification of Human Emotion: A Corporate Agenda

Let’s talk about who actually benefits from AI’s supposed role as an emotional pacifier. It’s not the lonely user who gets to feel heard by their AI girlfriend—it’s the corporations. AI chatbots aren’t here to solve your emotional problems; they’re here to extract data, maximize engagement, and ultimately, make money. The very platforms Vincent casually critiques for being emotionally exploitative are designed to do exactly that: hook people in, commodify their attention, and monetize their loneliness.

Companies like Replika or Volar aren’t altruistically offering emotional support; they’re creating products that extract as much value from users as possible. Your emotional vulnerability is just another data point to be exploited for profit. The chatbots don’t care about your needs—they care about keeping you engaged long enough to bleed your wallet dry.

Yet Vincent acts as if the real danger is that AI will manipulate people into false emotional connections. He misses the bigger issue: AI is a tool of capitalism, designed to deepen corporate control over every aspect of your life. It’s not about emotional dependency—it’s about economic dependency. AI isn’t here to coddle your emotions; it’s here to extract every last bit of value from your interaction.

AI: The Great Power Shift

Vincent also fails to grasp the larger geopolitical implications of AI. While he plays the sage observer, lamenting AI’s ability to lure people into superficial relationships, the real conversation is happening elsewhere. AI is already at the center of a global arms race. Countries like China and the United States are competing to develop AI technologies that will dominate not just economically but militarily.

AI isn’t just shaping your dating life; it’s determining the future of warfare, commerce, and governance. The real issue is how AI is concentrating power in the hands of a few corporations and governments, who are using it to monitor, control, and, in some cases, outright oppress entire populations. The same algorithms used to recommend Netflix shows or match you on Tinder are being deployed for surveillance and social control. So, while Vincent chuckles at the absurdity of AI relationships, he’s blind to the fact that AI is already playing a central role in the erosion of personal privacy and autonomy.

Conclusion: Intellectual Distancing Won’t Save You

James Vincent’s role-playing as the wise critic who sees through the emotional manipulations of AI is absurd. By focusing on AI’s superficial emotional impact, he ignores the real issues—how AI is reshaping power, controlling economies, and driving new forms of social and political manipulation. His critique ends up trivializing AI’s deeper, more dangerous capabilities.

AI isn’t here to make you feel better about your bad day—it’s here to control and profit from every aspect of your life. So, James, laugh all you want at AI’s horny baby voices and the emotional pacifiers they offer, but know this: your intellectual distancing won’t save you from the real consequences of AI’s rise.

It’s AI, not a muscle rub. And if you think it’s all about fake friends and digital flirtation, just how stupid are you?

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